So anyway i attended a basic life principles seminar for a day today.. learnt about relationships and how courtship should be the way BGR's are supposed to be, rather than dating.. it actually makes sense since i've been so sick of seeing other friends relationships come and go like it was just as though changing clothes or something...
He defined dating as a relationship between two people where self-interest plays a bigger role rather than the needs of the opposite, and mostly initiated without both families knowledge and blessing and done with the intention of 'getting to know the other person only'.
Courtship was defined as the spiritual act in which blessings are given from both families and trust and accountability between the girls father and the guy are strong and the intention is leading towards engagement and marriage..
when hearing this i was like.. whoa.. i have really sinned! lol! but seriously, how often do we attend 'BGR' sessions and don't seem to get the point that BGR's are meant to last till marriage and not be treated as 'oh i like u, u like me, let's get together' kind of thing.. At my age (which is not too old.. yet..) we are to just have lots of friends and build close friendships with everybody and not limit ourselves just because of peer pressure (know what i mean?) seriously, when i had a girlfriend it was like.. close friends started ignoring me and probably i lost the chance to share the gospel because i only had one focus in mind.. her.
Face it, God should be the centre of our lives, He should be our source of satisfaction, our source of comfort, our hope, our joy, our everything!! If you're my age, marriage is still far far away.. am i ready to have a relationship that would last ALL the way and still love her the same way i did then when i get married? now i know SOME people actually can last all the way.. Kudos to them! but face it.. divorce rates are superbly increasing.. why? They have not found genuine love.
Love is patient, Love is kind, It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
Here's my thoughts of a perfect relationship and hopefully my future one: I love God, She loves God, let's Love God together ;) Our relationship is going to be centered around God and not around each other only. God is going to be the factor that bring us together, both my parents and her parents would bless the relationship and my pastor also. Respect, trust and accountability are going to be key elements, and i shall be the one that opens the car door for her ;)
Ok i know that sounded cheesy but it's ok.. I've already pledged to remain single till 21.. even then, I'm not going to run ahead of God's timing for me or do stupid mistakes i did last time.. learn from mistakes, cherish the past, dream your tomorrows, LIVE your todays!!
I hope my post doesn't offend any couples out there, I hope you realise that relationships will not work without God in it. Your heart, whole, entire heart should be for God to give to your future one, not parts and pieces of your heart broken with each relationship failed. Even if your heart has already been broken into a million pieces now because of past relationships, God can restore, He can mend, He can heal. The worse possible thing you could now is enter into another relationship thinking that would be the answer... No my friend, God is.
I should write a book on this...
5 comments:
hm.... frankly speaking, the whole thing sounded very cliche. Maybe because of a church's background, or.. I don't know, I held the principle, go into a relationship only when I'm ready for marraige, long ago. Which explains why I'm happily single and enjoying my single-hood serving the Lord... We've been taught not to get into relationships so soon, I don't know, but to write everything of what I've been taught would take up the whole page, and I mean it... so I'll leave it for another day. in the context of writting other books, I would like to encourage you to read books by Joshua Harris, then you'll get a wider view of what is a pure relationship is. Anyway, since you asked me to comment bout it, here's my comment, and I think I'm done already. so.. till then. God bless.
Hehe I actually read both of Joshua Haris' books already.. It was like I knew these things in my head but never came out of my heart kinda thing? The thing about me is that I can be thought heaps of things into my head but never comes out of my heart, that's why i wrote this to encourage others, action speaks louder than words... personal convictions.. well.. that's up to the individual..
oh joshua Haris! i wanted to read that book... havent borow from my frned yet! lol... hmmm...well japheth...in this topic..im going to support u.... well its bcos im fighting this through... ive also been telling others bout this topic...i also did commit to let things(BGR'ship) go..is hard but im gonna fight it! lol.... well i could tell u more if u wana know... when u see me kay? lol.. good one... but sometime ppl always forget to practice this. thats all... pray bout it!
God BLess! x)
-kye-
sumtimes its in out head but we jes never put it into practice..its jes as a knowledge sake..in a relationship it is better 2 find sum1 wit d same faith cz a person of different faith can bring ur faith level down..a partner is sum1 who grows in chirst wit u everyday..
hey japh
great post!! yeapx.. totally agree with u :)
don't rush into any relationship. wait for God to give u the right one. she'll be the best u'll ever find and yea there's more than just being an item.
hehe..keep waitin for the right one ya!
God Bless!
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